A recent study showed that when doctors tell heart patients they will die if they don't change their habits, only one in seven will be able to follow through successfully. Desire and motivation aren't enough: even when it's literally a matter of life or death, the ability to change remains maddeningly elusive.
Not being able to change doesn't mean we're lazy, stubborn, or weak. Kegan says that our best plans often fall because of self-protective and hidden competing commitments.
Why Resistance?
Ø Fear of change- As soon we feel we need to change due to the insights shared by our peer, friends, relations same time we tend to develop an outer shell subconsciously!
Ø Aspirational resistance- “what’s in it for me” – and until we can see how a change is going to affect us and what the nature of the impact of that change will be in terms of: “Is it good for me or bad for me?” we will resist it. Some even after that will resist probably coz “Old habits die hard”.
How do we deal with Resistance- The best way of dealing with resistance is not to have to!
Or to understand ourselves deeply thoroughly & in totality, the root cause could lie in our childhood, certain experiences of past that has developed & is always keeping us on guard. Ever wonder why even before a team mate suggests a better way of doing things, we often start nodding our heads in no! Because we at subconscious level start developing Aspirational resistance & fear that our method needs to change according to someone else. There is an urgent need to unlearn the past.
Things will fall in place until we decide honestly- whether we need to change, we actually want to change & how to be the change.
Suppose we want to change then the toughest question is answered, now rest can be done in bullet points like given below-
(1) A Commitment to Change, not to show case but to ourselves
(2) Analyze Behavior - what are doing or not doing to support that commitment [being mindfulness]
(3) Hidden Competing Commitment - that has a greater priority but with will power & by incentivizing ourselves by looking out for better alternatives we could work upon HCC.
Not to forget the day started with Ms. Susie and Ms. Snehal Shah, who made us aware of stress management & how to work upon it with the help of Yoga.
Then came our very own true leader Anil sir who doesn’t believe in changing people by force or punishment but gives them reason enough to change through appreciative enquiry which automatically reduces one’s outer shell & increases the motivation level to change as we are not pushed to change. Anil sir with his Ys, What, How, that made me think about my purpose of life, people who matter to me, how my skills would help them for which I am trying to develop a learning plan which will be build around my duties, responsibilities as a learner.
He made me think what do I need to change in me? To which my conscious says I need to unlearn my past, my painful experiences & the resistance to change in order to improve my present & future.
I find at times the bad Satyam in me stops me from doing so many good things which I am pretty capable of! I keep trying; you never know when that resistance gives way!
Thanks sir for constantly hammering my negative thoughts & being there to help.
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