Aparna_Chowdhry_BLP040_Self Leadership_Sep’11

Self-Leadership

“Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It is that simple and it is that difficult.”

Our Self Leadership journey with Anil Sir was aimed at making the difficult simple. The 1^st part of the journey happened when we joined SOIL.

Anil Sir acquainted us all with the idea and the importance of Self leadership. We were informed about the 6 layers of self and how to gain understanding of the layers to steer our lives better. We delved deep into the pillars of SOIL and what they mean to us. Not ever could I have appreciated compassion the way I did by seeing a simple exercise of a student step into another’s shoe. To get into the other person’s shoe one has to get out of one’s own shoe and that is the crux of compassion. We learnt by way of many exercises about the leadership of ears and eyes and how to listen better. We then realized the power of touch and gathered that high touch leaders are high trust leaders. The most important message in the day was that as leaders we have to spread happiness and unconditional love. In the words of Anil Sir, “The most powerful leader is the one who loves the most.” Anil sir disclosed the secret of joy as:

Joy = Giving/Taking

The higher the numerator, the more joyful our lives would be.

Anil Sir then made us all think and reflect as a group on some very basic but essential questions like – Who are the most important people in our life. What have we done that gives us a feeling of guilt? What is that expectation that has not been met? The motive of this exercise was to give words to our fears and identify what we consider as our failures. It was interesting to observe that most of the disappointments people talked about were with the self. We then burnt all our disappointments in the fire and got the load off our head. We felt lighter in the soul and felt that there were no hidden dark walls around us. The next step of our self-leadership journey was identifying the goodness in us and recognizing our gifts. We again shared stories about when we were at the best and wrote a letter appreciating the person who has made a difference in our life. Anil Sir closed the session asking us to figure out who are the most important people in our life and the best way in which we can use our gifts to serve them. In other words find the purpose of our life – find the sense of meaning in our existence. We realized that to be inspired leaders we should not ask what life can do for us, but what we can do for life.

On September 8, 2011, we revisited all that we had learnt in our 1^st Session and delved deeper into how to conquer our fears. Anil Sir gave a beautiful illustration of walking on fire in this context. We learnt that leadership is the ability to manage mind, heart and emotions. We discussed what we had learnt in SOIL in the last 3 months and some hindrances to learning. We discussed if we are putting in the right effort. We talked about the instance when we were at the best in the last 3 months and tried identifying the root cause of success by asking “Why” 5 times. Anil Sir explained that is the love for what we do and the pride in what we do that leads to success. We revisited the purpose of our life and reflected on the difference we are making to that purpose with our every day actions. Some of the leanings that will remain with me for long are that habits can be changed (although difficult). What comes in between is fear and ego and the best way to overcome that is by unconditional love. One very important message was that one cannot be a leader, and ask other people to follow, unless he knows how to follow, too.

The immunity X-ray we did at the end really helped us face our inner fears and the assumptions we often make unknowingly that prevent us from changing for good. The article from Jonathan Reams helped us build on what was taught during the Self Leadership journey. It helped understand why Kegan says that the immunity system can be changed at any age and contrary to the old belief our mental development keeps happening at all ages. Through the account of field reports by Jonathan Reams, it is clear that the Immunity X-Ray and following the 4 column approach helps the individual in knowing himself better and starting the process of transforming oneself into a better leader. This approach is not only helpful for individual’s personal development but can help one better align oneself to the organisation, do better at work and be a leader. Reams provided answer to a very pertinent question that was running in my mind also – how can the concept of “Immunity to change” be applied in practice and how can it help the organisations? I now know that this helps create leaders in the organisation who are able to recognise the inner assumptions that hold them from change and are able to take action to transform themselves and showcase true Self Leadership.