Aparna Chowdhry_BLP040_Self Leadership_10Jan’12

The contemplation I did after the Self Leadership Class yesterday, made me plot the given plan for myself:

My caliper report states that I am weak in area of Managing relationships, with low score in sociability and gregariousness. After, the Self Leadership class today, I have decided to pay keen attention to these and turn things around. My strengths, especially Idea orientation and flexibility will help me in this endeavor.  Instead of keeping my ideas to myself, which I usually do, I will make an attempt to share the points with like-minded people and seek their opinion. Being flexible will help me mold my thoughts according to relevant inputs received and in this process build comradeship and good relations.

A few years down the road, I see myself as a well-rounded leader who knows people around her and is a good connect between different departments of an organization. I am sure that leveraging my strengths and working on my weaknesses will help me perform better. I will not only be able to do justice to the role but will contribute to the benefit of the organization.

To achieve this fate, I have planned to start interacting with people and sharing stories and ideas more often. I will work on being more proactive in my approach where meeting and greeting people is concerned. Added to this, I will stop keeping aloof and shying away from the crowd. I have to mingle and be a part of the troop. I also intend to focus on improving execution by developing my urgency level. For this I plan to read the life stories and work dynamics of great leaders like Steve Jobs, Jack Welsh et al. and learn from them. This is how I plan to inculcate the fundamentals of Self Leadership in myself. 

Aparna Chowdhry_BLP040_Consulting_03Jan’12

In the consulting class today, we learnt about the initial stages of Proposal Development. We discussed topics like Dealing with Resistance and Stage of Discovery.

Chapter 9 of “Flawless Consulting” emphasizes on the fact that it is difficult for consultants to talk their clients out of resistance because resistance is attached to feelings. The best way to deal with resistance is to get the client talk more about their concern. A consultant should stay away from defending himself, rather he should ask questions and encourage his client to talk. A consultant should not push back at resistance, but face it and talk through it in an authentic and in a sincere manner. Peter Block mentions 3 steps to handle resistance:

1.) Pick up cues for resistance – A consultant must notice what is happening and pay attention to non-verbal messages from the client. A consultant should pay attention to his own feelings while in a discussion with client. Boredom or irritation in a discussion is early sign of resistance.

2.) Name the resistance – use simple language to describe the form the resistance is taking. This would help client openly share what he is feeling.

3.) Be quite and seek response – A consultant should make the statement about resistance and then remain silent. The idea is to encourage the client to take responsibility and come forward and discuss the issue at hand.

Peter Block also says that the most important of all things is that a consultant shouldn’t take things personally. A consultant should try and answer a question twice and clarify things for the client. But if the same question is asked thrice face the client and make the statement that the client is feeling some resistance to commit to the problem or the process.

Chapter 10 of the book states that once client and consultant are ready to deal with resistance they switch to discovery phase. The goal of discovery is to be effective and powerful. It is important in this phase for a consultant to understand what he knows and what he doesn’t know. A consultant should clearly understand the context of the client’s issue and the client’s industry. He should get to the root of the issue and understand the underlying problem – which may be different than what appears or what the client is stating. Lastly, it is important at this stage that the consultant gives a clear picture on how the problem is being managed. He should not be suggesting recommendations at this juncture but should be clearly stating the facts.

These learning's combined with Anil sir's inputs and the case discussion on SOIL made our day really engaging and memorable. It was a day well spent peeling a layer of how an effective consultant should manage his client and make a mark. 

AparnaChowdhry_BLP040_About Me_Oct’11

Oct 8, 2011 – Saturday turned out to be another action packed day with Anil Sir. We started with reviewing our learning so far. One conversation let to another and soon we were on a conference call with Prasad Kaipa, one of Steve jobs close associates (Ex Head of Marketing, Europe Apple). It was wonderful to know about the other side of Steve jobs from a person who had worked with him. Mr. Kaipa shared a number of stories about who Steve jobs was, how focused was he on innovation and how determined was he to get what he dreamt of.

We then dwelled upon the topic of grooming and presenting ourselves to the crowd. Each of us was given the task of highlighting our uniqueness and sharing our purpose and direction in life with the rest of the class.

It was difficult at the beginning to think through the questions Anil Sir had asked, but once I pondered on them a bit the answers flowed. I was pleasantly surprised at the cause and effect analysis I had done and the results I arrived at.

The one that took the maximum time to answer was, “Who am I?” My strengths lie in being self-reliant and independent – and that is precisely who I have grown to be with the conditioning I have had from family and environment. The next 2 questions were, “What am I here for?” and “Where am I going?” These were relatively easier to answer since they have been playing crossword in my mind for quite some time. I am here to leave a mark and be a leader who goes the way & shows the way. That is the path I am going to travel. And it is "important to travel that path" (4^th question) so as to fill my life and the lives of people around me with happiness. The last question about how my strengths can be leveraged to reach my goal got me thinking again about how my strengths have helped me so far. I concluded that the discipline, focus on quality and commitment to the task at hand along with the ability to see the best in people – the strengths I have gained, nourished and stuck by – will help me succeed further in achieving my goal as well.

The one answer I am yet to decipher is – How? How will I get to my goal? What’s the path? The dots are still unclear. But I am sure they will emerge as I move forward in the discovery of self-exploration. 

Aparna_Chowdhry_BLP040_Self Leadership_Sep’11

Self-Leadership

“Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It is that simple and it is that difficult.”

Our Self Leadership journey with Anil Sir was aimed at making the difficult simple. The 1^st part of the journey happened when we joined SOIL.

Anil Sir acquainted us all with the idea and the importance of Self leadership. We were informed about the 6 layers of self and how to gain understanding of the layers to steer our lives better. We delved deep into the pillars of SOIL and what they mean to us. Not ever could I have appreciated compassion the way I did by seeing a simple exercise of a student step into another’s shoe. To get into the other person’s shoe one has to get out of one’s own shoe and that is the crux of compassion. We learnt by way of many exercises about the leadership of ears and eyes and how to listen better. We then realized the power of touch and gathered that high touch leaders are high trust leaders. The most important message in the day was that as leaders we have to spread happiness and unconditional love. In the words of Anil Sir, “The most powerful leader is the one who loves the most.” Anil sir disclosed the secret of joy as:

Joy = Giving/Taking

The higher the numerator, the more joyful our lives would be.

Anil Sir then made us all think and reflect as a group on some very basic but essential questions like – Who are the most important people in our life. What have we done that gives us a feeling of guilt? What is that expectation that has not been met? The motive of this exercise was to give words to our fears and identify what we consider as our failures. It was interesting to observe that most of the disappointments people talked about were with the self. We then burnt all our disappointments in the fire and got the load off our head. We felt lighter in the soul and felt that there were no hidden dark walls around us. The next step of our self-leadership journey was identifying the goodness in us and recognizing our gifts. We again shared stories about when we were at the best and wrote a letter appreciating the person who has made a difference in our life. Anil Sir closed the session asking us to figure out who are the most important people in our life and the best way in which we can use our gifts to serve them. In other words find the purpose of our life – find the sense of meaning in our existence. We realized that to be inspired leaders we should not ask what life can do for us, but what we can do for life.

On September 8, 2011, we revisited all that we had learnt in our 1^st Session and delved deeper into how to conquer our fears. Anil Sir gave a beautiful illustration of walking on fire in this context. We learnt that leadership is the ability to manage mind, heart and emotions. We discussed what we had learnt in SOIL in the last 3 months and some hindrances to learning. We discussed if we are putting in the right effort. We talked about the instance when we were at the best in the last 3 months and tried identifying the root cause of success by asking “Why” 5 times. Anil Sir explained that is the love for what we do and the pride in what we do that leads to success. We revisited the purpose of our life and reflected on the difference we are making to that purpose with our every day actions. Some of the leanings that will remain with me for long are that habits can be changed (although difficult). What comes in between is fear and ego and the best way to overcome that is by unconditional love. One very important message was that one cannot be a leader, and ask other people to follow, unless he knows how to follow, too.

The immunity X-ray we did at the end really helped us face our inner fears and the assumptions we often make unknowingly that prevent us from changing for good. The article from Jonathan Reams helped us build on what was taught during the Self Leadership journey. It helped understand why Kegan says that the immunity system can be changed at any age and contrary to the old belief our mental development keeps happening at all ages. Through the account of field reports by Jonathan Reams, it is clear that the Immunity X-Ray and following the 4 column approach helps the individual in knowing himself better and starting the process of transforming oneself into a better leader. This approach is not only helpful for individual’s personal development but can help one better align oneself to the organisation, do better at work and be a leader. Reams provided answer to a very pertinent question that was running in my mind also – how can the concept of “Immunity to change” be applied in practice and how can it help the organisations? I now know that this helps create leaders in the organisation who are able to recognise the inner assumptions that hold them from change and are able to take action to transform themselves and showcase true Self Leadership.

Aparna Chowdhry_BLP040_The Mentoring Program

"Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction."

I’ll be honest; I was quite apprehensive about the entire process when I started with the mentoring session. The thoughts that kept creeping in my head were – What questions will I ask a person with more than 4 times my work experience? What are intelligent questions and what constitute dumb questions? Would the outcome be something implementable or be some more “general gyan”?

2 sessions past, I now believe that THIS is one of the best features about the entire 1 year Leadership program at SOIL.

I have learned some of the fundamental and essential traits of management (personal and professional) during my mentoring meet – and from a person who epitomizes simplicity & humility, is down to earth, considerate and clearheaded.

It is said that, “An Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.” I have realized the truth of this statement in the last one month. Some of the takeaways from my last mentoring session were –


* A manager can either assume that a person in the team will not do work because he is just not interested and hence not give that person anything to do or the manager could ask himself “what can I do to help this person be a better contributor."  It is important that we create an environment that helps people do their job, that makes people see value in what they are doing and feel motivated 

* While managing people a leader needs to realize that each person is different and unique, so the factors that motivate him/her would be different as well. Each person needs to be treated differently


*  How we react to situations, what we are today can all be linked back to our past. We need to figure what those experiences/incidents were (root cause analysis), get the ghost out of the closet and bid it goodbye


* We can change the way we are, just need to understand why we are that way and make a genuine effort to change


* Any good Action plan starts with identifying the areas of improvement, root cause analysis of the developmental areas and then coming up with the steps to bridge the gap between the desired and the present state


* Communication is the most important asset and a key to successful negotiations, building strong relationships, motivating teams and a lot more. And this is my focus area for the next one month. I have started with reading the book, “I wish I’d said that!” and trying to identify if I have a Noble, Socratic or a Reflective communication style.


While coming back from the meeting I remembered something my boss had told me once --  A few things in the world are much more powerful than a positive push - A smile, a word of optimism and hope and a "you can do it". I think this is what good mentors do!